Monday, 23 April 2012

Being Poor

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school.
She had her first family planning lesson at school.

Her mother, very interested, asks;" How did it go?"

"I died of shame!" She answers !

Koos from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Piet in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.

Her mother answers laughingly “But that’s no reason to be ashamed?”

“No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that daddy had to make me himself!”

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

You Just Can't Beat These Lawyers.... !


A married lawyer had been having fun in his car with his secretary.

On getting home, his wife saw a pair of panties on the back seat. She tore it apart, screaming, "What the hell is this? What have you been up to??"

He calmly replied, "You have just destroyed the evidence of the rape case worth a million for me, which I'm handling. You can forget the jewellery you wanted!"

She quickly fell on her knees apologizing.

No one wins over a Lawyer, even someone called A WIFE.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Rumours


Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Small Things with Great Love

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Real Friends

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Real Friends


Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

It is Hard to be a Woman

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Real Friend


Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

SMILE!!!

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Be Smart!


Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Good People are Beautiful

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

True Love

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Be careful Who You Trust

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

True Friends

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Relationship

Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Respect People's Feelings

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It is your Feelings that Matters

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Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Be Yourself!


Thanks to https://www.facebook.com/pages/Golden-words-of-Paradise/219719701429064

Monday, 16 April 2012

The Danger of Bubble Tea




Bubble tea shops are popping up all over the place - in malls, on corners, and anywhere else thirsty teens tend to gather. Bubble tea, also called pearl milk tea or boba tea, originated in Taiwan and has become a worldwide sipping - and chewing - phenomenon.

But what is bubble tea anyway? Take a cup, plop in a handful of round, gelatinous pearls of tapioca, top it with brewed black or green tea, mix in some milk, sugar, flavouring, and ice. Then shake it all up, and you've got yourself a bubble tea.


Bubble tea brings a lot of sweet excitement to our taste buds but it is also very harmful to health.  Milk essence is the main ingredient in bubble tea. Ten cups of fresh milk cannot match the taste of a teaspoon of milk essence.The main ingredient of milk essence is hygrogenated vegetable oil, a type of transfat. Experts says that a glass of 500ml of bubble tea a day far exceed the allowable limit of transfat for any person(2grams a day). It will lead to heart and blood vessel diseases.

Milk essence gives the bubble tea the fragrance and make it tasty. The fragrance and tastiness derived from a type of chemical. This chemical has trace of arsenic, lead, copper and many harmful minerals.  Long term consumption can lead to heart and blood vessel disease, cancer, asthma and other health complications.
Consuming the black bubbles pearls is equivalent to consuming plastic. Normally these bubbles were made from casava (tapioca) powder, which could lead to cyanide poisoning. This alone does not give the rubbery texture. To make it more rubbery, millet protein is added. Some “greedy” businessmen felt that this is still not rubbery enough. So, an artificial plastic powder is added. This type of artificial plastic material will never be digested and absorbed into the body, and bear in mind, plastic is toxic to your body if consumed. It will remain in the body and cause havoc to our health. You can imagine what will happen to your health after prolonged consumption of transfat and plastic!!!!

FOR YOUR HEALTH SAKE, PLEASE ABSTAIN FROM BUBBLE TEA. Have it with caution !


Source:

(1) http://www.livestrong.com/article/418232-is-bubble-tea-healthy/

(2) http://www.chinapost.com.tw/health/heart/2008/05/16/156703/Bubble-tea.htm

(3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_tea#Controversy

(4) http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/news20015.html

(5) http://www.chinapost.com.tw/taiwan/national/national-news/2011/05/26/303776/Bubble-tea.htm

(6)http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine-archive/2010/july/food/protein-drinks/what-our-tests-found/index.htm

(7)http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/FatsAndOils/Fats101/Trans-Fats_UCM_301120_Article.jsp

(8)http://www.livestrong.com/article/488622-risks-of-eating-tapioca/

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Chinese explanation for a wedding ring's finger


Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger? There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese ... 


The thumb represents your Parents.
The second (index) finger represents your Siblings.
The middle finger represents you.
The fourth (ring) finger represents your Life Partner.
The last (little) finger represents your children


First, open your palms (face to face),bend the middle fingers and hold them together,back to back.

Second, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip. (As shown in the figure below): 




Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents). They will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings). They will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their separate lives.

Now rejoin the index fingers and separate your little fingers (representing your children). They will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, rejoin your little fingers, and try to separate your ring fingers (representing your spouse). You'll be surprised to see that you just CANNOT, because husband & wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!!

See how clever and smart are the CHINESE!!!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Why Parents Shouldn't Text











A Girl's First Time

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.

As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.

He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
*
*
*
*
*
*
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty! Excuse me, What were you thinking?

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

How to Improve your Brain Fitness

Brain is called the CPU of human body. It works for the whole day. It works even while we are sleeping. But stress, frustration, load of work, negative thinking, smoking, drinking, unbalanced diet individually or in combined form dis balances the brain and its working.

But it is said that brain is like parachute. It only functions when it is open. So to open up your mind just try these ideas given below:

1.Meditation:

It improves concentration and helps in focusing. It strengthens the mind. Mind comes under control and effectively guide the physical body to execute all its projects efficiently.






2.Mind games and Puzzles:


Many games like sudoku,crosswords and quiz help in increasing alertness,focus and concentration.They are benefit in remembering things easily and mind is then able to think faster.

3.Exercise and Dance:


When you will be physically fit then you will be automatically mentally fit. According to the studies, dance is the only exercise which affects mind as it integrates several brain functions at once.

4.Sleep:

If you want your mind to work properly,then SLEEP.Yes sleep. Because giving your mind rest for sometime will help in recollecting energy for the next day. So sleep at least 6-8 hours per day. But remember excessive sleeping can be harmful.


5.Balanced diet:


Eat healthy to keep your brain healthy.Avoid junk,oily,packed food materials,smoking and use of liquor as mental health is always related to physical health. Eat nuts, fruits, grains,pulses and use milk products in order to get mental fitness.

6.Positive thinking:

Think positive. To achieve this share your problems,sorrows and happiness with your dear ones. and remember nothing is possible.

7.Laugh:

The best cure of all diseases is to laugh. So laugh as much as you can and make others laugh too.

8.Learn new skills and spend time for hobby:

Try to learn whatever you want to. Spend some time for your hobby whether it's dancing, singing, reading, painting, traveling or something else.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Chinese Sinseh

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes up one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it."

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."

The doctor answers , "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"

The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"

"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week. Faw off by isself...!"

THE GOLF BALL AND THE SAND WEDGE


A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a golf ball.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '$250'

A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have sand wedge.'

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'

Boy - '$750'

Man - 'Sold..'

A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and
golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice. 

The boy says,  'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.'

The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?'

Boy - '$1,000.'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church
and make you confess.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that shit with me again. You're in my closet now.'

The Modern Doctor at Supermarket

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample... He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Costco.."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 


2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Costco!

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Have a good Laugh...


DIY Orange Candle





 DIY  Orange Candle

Posted by Erica (http://honestlywtf.com/)
Impress your guests at your dinner party!

You’ll need:

  • orange with stems attached
  • olive or vegetable oil
  • a serrated knife
  • a spoon
  • matches

 The stem side of the orange will be the bottom and base of the candle. Lightly score a ring around the top 1/3 portion of the orange. Peel off the top.

 Gently separate the orange from of the peel with the help of a spoon. Slowly work the spoon towards the bottom and pry the orange out from the sides, making sure not to break through the middle.
 
 Once the flesh of the orange is taken out, the pith connecting the outer stem should remain. The pith will be the wick of the candle. Snip the outer stem off with a pair of scissors so the candle can sit flat.

 Pour a few glugs of olive oil into the orange, leaving just the very tip of the pith exposed. Use the spoon to submerge the top of the pith into the oil for just a few seconds. It’s now ready to be lit! *** Tip: if you’re having trouble lighting the pith, it’s probably because it has too much moisture. Try letting the peel dry overnight (without oil) and don’t forget to submerge the tip into oil for a few seconds before lighting.

    Depending on the length of the pith, the candle should burn for at least a couple of hours. Remember, never leave candles unattended while burning! xx
(all images via HonestlyWTF)

Soup for Healthy Bones and Teeth

 

To experience optimal health, including flexible and healthy bones and teeth, it's vital that you eat plenty of green plant foods on a regular basis. And ounce for ounce, few green plant foods are more nutrient-rich than green peas.

Green peas are naturally abundant in folate, vitamin B1, vitamin B6, carotenoids,tryptophan, vitamin K, manganese, healthy protein, and a number of other health-promoting nutrients.

Enjoy the many health benefits of eating green peas with the following recipe for Green Pea and Chickpea Soup - it's exceptionally nutrient-dense and calls for highly affordable ingredients.
Makes about 4 large or 6 small servings

Ingredients:
1 can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2 cups frozen or fresh shelled green peas
1 yellow onion, roughly chopped
2 ribs celery, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
Sea salt and pepper
2.5 cups vegetable or chicken broth
Handful chopped fresh parsley or cilantro (optional for garnish)
Extra-virgin olive oil

Directions:
1. In a large soup pot, cook onion, garlic, and celery with a couple of tablespoons of extra-virgin olive oil over low to medium heat. Cook for about 5 minutes, or until vegetables are soft. Stir occasionally.
2. Add chickpeas, peas, and broth, and bring to a boil over medium to medium-high heat.
3. Reduce heat, cover, and let simmer for about 15 minutes, or until chickpeas and peas are tender.

4. Use a hand-held blender to partially blend ingredients in the pot. If you prefer smooth soups, blend everything until well homogenized. If you like texture to your soups, just blend for about 5-10 seconds, which should allow some of the peas and chickpeas to remain intact.

If you don't have a hand-held blender, blend small portions in a regular blender or food processor; then transfer back to the pot.

5. Season with sea salt and pepper.


6. If you have fresh chopped parsley or cilantro on hand, sprinkle a tablespoon over each bowl before serving.

Enjoy this nourishing, protein-rich soup on its own, with a heel of your favorite crusty bread, or any grain dish.