Saturday, 7 July 2012

I thought I knew everything .... I was wrong


Stewardesses is the longest word
typed with only the left hand.


And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed
with your right hand.




No word in the English language rhymes with
month , orange, silver, or purple.

' Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.


our eyes are always the same size from birth,
but our nose and ears

never stop growing.

The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps

over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the

alphabet.


The words 'racecar,' 'kayak'

and 'level' are the

same whether they are read left to right or

right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English

language which end in 'dous':

tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and

hazardous.


There are two words in the English language

that have all five vowels in order:

'abstemious' and 'facetious.' 

TYPEWRITER
     is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.  

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear
. 
 

  
 A goldfish    has a memory span of three seconds 

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A shark    is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. 

A snail    can sleep for three years.   Almonds are a member of the peach    family. 


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
 Babies are born without kneecaps.  

They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. 

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
  In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. If the population of China walked past you, 8 people wide, 
the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
 
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors 

Peanuts    are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
 

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. 



 
 The cruise liner, QE 2,moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns..
The microwave    was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube
and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.  
 
 
The winter of 1932 was so cold that  Niagara Falls      
froze completely solid .
There are more chickens than people in the world.  
         

Winston Churchill
 
was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
 Women blink nearly twice as much as men. 

 
The Rain-Thomas Kinkade 

This is a Thomas Kinkade painting It's rumored to carry a miracle! 
They say if you pass this on, you will receive a miracle. 

It's amazing we all learned English!



I think a retired English teacher was
bored. THIS IS GREAT!
                                

Read all the way to the end.

This took a lot of work to put together!

You think English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to
    refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in   
    the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he 
    thought it was time to present thepresent.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass 
    drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen

      about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does  
      are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a   
      sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught 
       his sow to sow

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a 
      tear.

 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of 
       tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate 
      friend?

Let's face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while
sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is is a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have
a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance
be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down; you fill in a form by filling it out; an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not
computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out,
they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this:

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is'UP'

It's easy to understand UP meaning
toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the
officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house, and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it
is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but
we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP,

so........it is time to shut UP!

Now it's UP to you to decide what to
do with this.