Wednesday, 25 July 2012

You'll Laugh till it hurts!

Young and naive but very practical answers.

Had a bad day? Read the innocence of children.

Priceless!

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.
2.
Strike while the
bug is close.
3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.
4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.
5.
You can lead a horse to water but
how?
6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.
7.
No news is
impossible.
8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.
9.
You can't teach an old dog new
math.
10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.
11.
Love all, trust
me.
12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.
13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.
14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.
15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.
16.
A penny saved is
not much.
17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.
18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.
19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
you have to blow your nose.
20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.
21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.
22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.
23.
You get out of something only what you
see in the picture on the box.
24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.
25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.
Better late than
pregnant.


Sunday, 22 July 2012

M E N

Men
A man was granted two wishes by God,
He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever.
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

**********

There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened!

**********

Wives are magicians.
They can change anything into an argument

**********

Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men?

A very INTELLIGENT student replied:

"Because Women don't have a wife!"

**********

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

Santa Singh's Baby

Santa Singh's wife was expecting and the baby was due any day.

Santa was very confident it would be a boy and was looking forward to the delivery day.

As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city and had to join office immediately.

Before going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram confirming the birth of his son.

But in order to avoid giving party to his office colleagues he asks his father -in-law to write "the clock has arrived" and he will understand that the son is born..

The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl.

Now Santa's father-in-law didn't know what to do.

If he writes "the clock has arrived" Santa will think he has got a Son.

If he writes "the clock has not arrived" Santa will get worried that something serious has happened.

But being a very intelligent person, the Father-in-Law finds a solution and sends the telegram.

Just read below, you will love it........








Santa received the telegram. He opened it eagerly and reads, "The clock has arrived, but the "pendulum" is missing".