Marital Humour

They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.

Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!'

What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

A little boy went up to his father and asked :
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied:
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'

Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : 'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day: 'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!'

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The Knothole

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no," said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."

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Baked Beans with Scrambled Eggs and Potatoes (Meatless Recipe)

First of all, my sincere apologies for my long silence and absence as I have been extremely busy since late last year.  To keep it simple and to start off my 1st recipe post in 2013, here is a very simple and yet nutritious dish for you and your family.  Hope you like it.. :)

My girls like baked beans very much.  Sometimes I would just cook it with scrambled eggs and we would have it with rice or bread for breakfast.  For this recipe, I have added chinese leeks to the scrambled eggs and potatoes too.  Do give this a try and let me know whether you and  your loved ones like it or not.

Ingredients :

- 1 can of baked beans (I prefer TST brand)

- 1 stalk of chinese leeks (washed and sliced)

- 2 potatoes (peeled and cubed)

- 6 eggs (mixed with a pinch of salt)

- Salt and soy sauce (to taste)

- Cooking oil 

Method :

1)  Heat a wok with some oil and fry cubed potatoes till soft.  Dish out and put aside.

2)  In the same wok, heat some oil.  Give the chinese leeks a quick stir and add in the beaten eggs.  Fry until the eggs have set.

3)  Then, add the cooked potatoes and baked beans to the scrambled eggs.  Mix well.

4) If too dry, add some water.

5) Add salt and soy sauce to taste.

6) Dish out and serve with rice or bread.

Hope you like this simple dish. It is excellent for breakfast!

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