Man and Woman

1.
Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man.
But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man

2.
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service.

3.
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.
Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of Playboy
and...
Wife on the cover of "Missing Persons"

4.
Q: Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
A: To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

5.
Teacher: "What do you want to become?"
Little Johnny: "Doctor!!"
Teacher: "Why?"
Little Johnny: "Coz its the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and get her husband to pay you."

6.
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die, wanted her tombstone to read:
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to:
"RETURNED UNOPENED"

7.
75-year-old man got married to a 16-year-old girl.
On their first night both were crying….
Why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.

8.
Behind every successful man is a woman.
That's why Bill Gate always keeps his wallet in front.

$7.00 SEX

Economic lesson for today... $7.00 Sex

An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. 

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' 

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.

SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT...!!!!!!

Rice Cooker Fried Kueh Teow

Last Sunday, we decided to have fried kueh teow for lunch.  However, I was quite lazy to do it the conventional way. I want something simple, easy and quick. So, I used Toshiba rice cooker to cook kueh teow!

The ingredients were quite simple as I just made do with whatever ingredients that were available on that day. However, you can add your preferred ingredients such as prawns, chinese chives, eggs and cockles.

Ingredients :

- 2 packets of IKT kueh teow
- 2 fish cakes (sliced)
- 1 whole garlic (minced)
- 1 bombay onion (chopped)
- bean sprouts (taugeh) - fried separately
cooking oil
Seasonings :
- 2 tbsp of Homemade Chili Paste
- 1 tbsp of dark caramel sauce
- soy sauce (to taste)
- salt (to taste)
- pepper (to taste)

Method :
1) Heat oil in a wok. Saute garlic and onion until aromatic.

2) Add fish cakes and stir well.

3) Transfer the fried ingredients to the rice cooker.

4) Add seasonings to the rice cooker. Then add kueh teow.

  

5)  Stir and mix well.  Select 'Quick Cook'.  

6)  It takes about 30 minutes to cook.  Stir again after you hear the 'beep' sound.  Let it sit for a about 5 minutes.

7)  Meanwhile, fry taugeh to go with the fried kueh teow.

8)  Serve the fried taugeh with kueh teow.  

That day, we had it with simple watercress soup too.

Well, if you want a simple no-fuss cooking, fully utilise your rice cooker.  As I am busy most of the time, I use my rice cooker to cook soup, braise, stew and steam certain foods.  My multi-purpose rice cooker for a lazy person like me, hahaha...

Updated on 31 Oct 2012 :

This post for Rice Cooker Fried Kueh Teow was featured in Toshiba Home Appliances Page.  Have a look at the page. :)